Writing & The Good Wife

I really love television. Like, a whole lot. Like, after deliciously amazing books, it is my favorite medium, particularly for storytelling purposes. I’m not into movies for the most part, though there are many* I love. Theatre is a huge love of mine but I don’t get to experience it on a nightly basis, and also there’s something about the long-term nature of television that is super appealing to me. I love being in it for the long haul. I write academic papers on episodes I love (and loathe). I love my TiVo with a rabid** fierceness.

But I will say that lately there are not as many shows I love passionately, unless you count how I record even the billionth-repeated marathons of America’s Next Top Model. And that’s OK, because I believe a lot of pop culture and media is cyclical, and if TV isn’t doing it for me right now, before long it will again.

I DIGRESS.***

Early last season, I totally started watching The Good Wife only because my beloved Josh Charles was in it. No, really, it’s that simple for me. I will EVENTUALLY write more entries in the popular**** MY FICTIONAL BOYFRIENDS series, and probably the longest and most passionate will be devoted to Dan Rydell, so, uh, I pay attention to the man. So I started off a reluctant viewer, but before long I realized I was paying attention far more often than when a scene involved Will Gardner. Yeah, I was hooked.

I won’t get into show specifics, because I think good shows are rarely beloved because of what they literally are. Right? I mean, Uncomfortable Plot Summaries lists Doctor Who as “elderly man serially abducts young women” which is just about true, but even being less reductive can’t describe the feeling evoked in me by watching Donna Noble talk the Doctor out of leaving that family in Pompeii. So as far as The Good Wife goes, I can talk about how it’s a serial about a politician’s wife, post-sex scandal, or I could talk about it being a law procedural, but, seriously, who cares?*****

The stuff I like about the show is the stuff I like about lots of good writing, actually. Even though I write novels and not television shows, there’s something inspiring and educational about watching the pieces of wisdom you know to be true play out in front of you:

1. Don’t overload with background info or exposition. Holy crap, has a lot happened between everyone on this show. (We won’t talk about how much time I’ve devoted to thinking about Alicia and Will’s WTF-happened-back-at-Georgetown?-ness.) Holy eff, has a lot happened, period, by the time we’re dropped in in the pilot (and then, very quickly, thrown six months further). The show doesn’t dwell there, though. The show just keeps on chugging along and trusts that we can keep up.

2. Let grownups be grownups. OK, yes, I write YA, and, yes, I like to race my tiny car around town while singing along to soundtracks to Disney movies, but I truly am a grownup and when I watch TV (or read books) I expect adults to behave as adults. Yes, some people are immature, and some people have devotions to pop culture for people a third of their ages******, but I hate watching people who are supposed to be professionals in their thirties and upward behaving like junior high students. It’s much like how deeply I hate YA where teens seem like… well, no teens I know, just the approximation of what an out-of-touch writer thinks. But, anyway, I like the drama on the show playing out between adults. Sure, adults who aren’t perfect, who sometimes make very bad decisions, who sometimes seem to cling to romantic notions straight out of middle school, but adults nonetheless. And it’s funny that I hadn’t quite noticed how often this doesn’t happen until I saw something where it did.

3. Have patience. It’s tough, because a book should hook you on its first page, and if a TV show doesn’t grab you in its first scene, well, why are you still reading/watching? That said, there is something incredibly appealing to me in an enthralling but slowly building narrative that then can drop bombshells on you… after earning them. I mean, I wanted to see the kiss that happened in the episode “Heart” from about episode… 1.02 on? But how much more did it mean because we saw it in 1.17? (Holy hell, people, A LOT. IT MEANT A LOT MORE.)

SWOON AMIRIGHT

Guys, seriously, can we talk again about how janky Google Image Search has gotten? That image came up the other day when I searched for “the good wife” but this time it didn’t, so I searched “good wife will gardner” and lo and behold, luckily it did again, but on the same page of results was this:

I mean, Google, you’re not even trying now, are you? ARE YOU?

4. Get me to love, get me to hate, get me to reconsider. WHAT! I know it sounds like I’m talking crazy, but, man, one way to three-dimensionalize a character is showing me so many of their sides I have no idea if I’m for them or against them. YOU KNOW, LIKE REAL LIFE. Most of us aren’t all good or all bad.*******

Maybe the most obvious example of this on the show is Peter Florrick. Right? Talking about Peter Florrick would give me an excuse to say for the billionth time that Chris Noth looks like a really hot Sam the Eagle from the Muppets:

  

BUT! Instead I’d rather talk to you about Cary. Cary! Remember when Matt Czuchry was on the Gilmore Girls and he was such an effing tool? I am so glad his toolishness doesn’t have to follow him. One time I was waiting at the stage door area after seeing a play Mr. Czuchry was in, because I wanted to say hi to a super cool actress in it who I had met before and had super shiny hair, and when Matt came out, he thought my friend and I were shy girls too nervous to approach him, so he waited it out and gave us muchos smiles! And then I was like, OMG, this is awkward, I don’t want to break his heart and say “ACTUALLY I DON’T WANT YOUR AUTOGRAPH I AM HERE TO SEE SOMEONE ELSE” so I just kind of kept smiling and looked away and he understood and left.

MATT CZUCHRY IF I MET YOU TODAY I PROMISE I WOULD SAY SOMETHING AND NOT JUST BREAK EYE CONTACT IN A WEIRD JUNIOR HIGH DANCE MANNER.

Anyway. CARY.

ADORBS!

When we first meet Cary, we do not like Cary.******** Cary is smug and bratty, and when he makes that comment about his mom, we’re certain he’s sexist and ageist too. Right? RIGHT? Except then, dammit Cary, you wormed your way into my heart. Was it the shrooms? Was it telling Alicia you didn’t want her to lose either? Was it thinking about how, despite that Alicia is our protagonist, perhaps with my student loan debt and my frustration at paying bills in an expensive but awesome city, sometimes Cary is probably the character I have the most in common with?

And then the pattern continued! Because he would do [annoying thing] but then he’d do [great thing] or he wouldn’t [do great thing] but you grasped why he felt he had to do [the douchey thing] and it’s so hard not to be on his side except when it really freaking isn’t.

(I feel very similar about the show’s main love triangle too; despite that people have made very obvious good and bad moves in it.)

What I’m saying, GOOD GOD FINALLY, is that it’s very easy to make me hate someone who acts terribly, and it’s very easy to make me love someone who does terrific and awesome things. Position someone as the competition and let them act like a not-that-grown-up frat boy and, sure, most of us will hate them. But it’s more interesting when they’re also a very fair person who legitimately works hard at their job. Maybe they have wrongheaded notions, but suddenly you realize from their POV you would feel exactly the same way.

It gets tougher rooting against them. It’s also very difficult rooting for them. It gets messy and complicated, and the story’s ending isn’t broadcast from the word go.

I love being told stories like that, and I try really hard to do it myself.

Anyway, I know there is no world in which it is cool to worship The Good Wife.********* But luckily I am already very much aware of how cool I am not. I could go on and on about everything else I love about this (and perhaps one day I will, because I can think of so many other good writing lessons that tie into the show and, also, I love any excuse to post pictures of Josh Charles********** LET’S JUST BE HONEST HERE).

So embrace what you love. And take your writing lessons from what moves and inspires and entertains you. A lot of times, that isn’t just in a book.

*Of course, many of those are titles such as Sydney White and High School Musical 2, in case you’re imagining my devotion to only award-winners or something.
**Yeah, by “rabid” I mean “foaming at the mouth”, so what?
***Shocking, right?
****Popularity is relative, right? RIGHT, YOU GUYS?
*****Well, I do, but I’m making a point.
******AHEM.
*******I myself am 3 parts awesome to 2 parts assy.
********By “we” I do mean “I”.
*********Except for the world that I dwell in with only Sarah Skilton, which exists only when we’re rapid-fire exchanging v. v. important emails about Alicia and Peter and Cary and Will and Diane and Kalinda. I AM JUST SAYING OK.
**********

Per Your Suggestions

I didn’t know what to blog about, so I did what any normal person does: I asked my Facebook friends.

Sara R. asked me to talk about–well, Sara R.’s was complicated. I’ll quote her:

Gummi bears. Gummi worms. Gummi sharks. The variety of animals that are in gummi form. A ploy by PETA to infiltrate our youngsters with subliminal save-the-animals messages? Or just coincidentally shaped candy snacks?

Well, Sara R., that is a very strange request. Actually, there is generally gelatin in gummi animals, and therefore they cannot be eaten by vegans! But they can probably be eaten by vegetarians. Back when I was a vegetarian I didn’t pay attention to gelatin rules, honestly. Probably because I found out while nomming on Altoids, and I didn’t want to give up the Altoids.

Trish asked me to talk about boys. Here’s a line a boy used on me a couple weeks ago:

Your eyes are beautiful. What color are they?

And then today the UPS guy tried to hit on me using this:

What’s your last name? Spalding? That is a BEAUTIFUL last name.

NO IT’S NOT. IT IS A NORMAL LAST NAME FROM ENGLAND THAT EVERYONE MISSPELLS BECAUSE THE GERMAN VERSION IS WAY MORE POPULAR DUDE. That is a TERRIBLE line.

Dudes, just be normal. Please!

Anji wants me to talk about mix tapes. Oh gosh. MIX TAPES. I wish people still made them. I remember this boy and I used to mail each other mix tapes and it was so magical. I had crazy feelings of love for that boy, and I am pretty sure a big chunk of that was the joy of the mix tape in my car stereo, the thrill of seeing his handwritten track list, the knowledge that it must have taken him hours to do this, just for me. That boy broke the heck out of my heart but years later I remember the mix tapes most of all.

Brent wants me to talk about writers block. I think Brent is just being a smart ass. That’s OK, I will still indulge you, Brent. I haven’t had actual writers block in a long time, because I truly think a big part of writing is just sitting down and doing it. And if you do that often enough, it’s habit, and you’ll keep going. But I get blocked for other reasons. Like, with my book out on submission right now, it’s so hard to give Current Project the love and care it deserves, because I’m all Stresso McGee over Formerly Current Project. But, alas, I must force myself to forge onward.

One thing that really helped me was an idea brought up by my lovely friend Siobhan in this post about not breaking the chain. Listen, I know that she’s quoting Seinfeld, but she’s a much cooler person than him, so I’m crediting her. Fair? Fair.

Michael Q. asked me to talk about fainting goats. I thought this was some kind of euphemism but apparently this is a breed of domestic goat! Thank you, Wikipedia. There is even an International Fainting Goat Association. WHO KNEW. NOT ME. Thanks for the education, Mike Q.!

Dan wants me to talk about Jason Robert Brown. I’m sad that Songs for a New World seems to have lost its hold over me now that I’m ancient. There’s something about that album that, for the most part seems so rooted in your late teens and twenties. Which, really, is awesome, because I’m not sure there are that many musicals that are so specific to that point of young adulthood. Also I’m really mad I was too busy last year to catch Parade while it was at the Ahmanson.

Jennifer M. wants me to talk about literary mashups. Gosh, at first they seemed so freaking exciting. When Pride and Prejudice and Zombies came out, I thought that was basically the most awesome idea ever. But I’m growing weary. Already it seems less exciting. However, I do love that people are playing with literature to make new media. Sometimes people get so focused on new technology that literature gets overlooked as something vital to our future, and it’s healthy to remember how much power it can still hold, especially in new forms.

Pearl and Brian H. want me to talk about post-apocalyptic polar bears. I must admit that this is a subject that has never crossed my mind. So here is a picture of one:

That was fun! Next time I’m out of blogging ideas I will do this again.

Now it’s time to get coffee and go to the library.

Don’t Stop Believing, I Mean, Reading (Hold onto that Feeling)

I don’t know why April has turned into confessions of previously-held beliefs that turned out to be kind of lame. (Ahem. Ahem. Ahem.) This should probably be the point where I realize I’ve said too much, none of you respect me anymore, and that I should slink off to the corner.

I’m sure you already know that is not what I’m doing. With me, there is never a chance saying too much brings on a silence.

So when I was, well, not but a wee Ames, but a younger one, I was watching Oprah for whatever reason, and she was talking to a bunch of authors. (I guess, say what you will about Oprah, but that lady respects literature and that is awesome.) The writers were giving out some writing advice so I listened eagerly because this was before the internet (yes, I am so old I have a “before the internet” period that is not insignificant), so I wasn’t sitting in a plethora of advice and wisdom and information.

Anyways, some writer lady said NEVER TO READ EVER STOP READING NO READING if you are writing. OMG! I wrote all the time! I also read all the time, but I figured I had to listen to experts and STOP READING IMMEDIATELY. She said if you read anyone else you’d write in their style! I was all, NOOO I DON’T EVEN HAVE MY OWN STYLE YET UGH I DON’T WANT TO COPY SOMEONE ELSE’S.

So, yes. I was an aspiring writer… who did not read. At all.

Probably not shockingly, I wasn’t writing much either! Obviously books aren’t the only form of inspiration to people who… write books. There is music and television and film and theatre and, right, real life! Still. I think it’s no coincidence that my periods of least reading and least writing look a lot like this:

Anyways. I’ve personally found as long as I’m not mainlining one particular author, I do not suffer from style-stealing. Reading really just makes me want to write! Good books inspire me with their greatness. Bad books inspire me to be better. Books like mine make me feel like I’m on the right track. Books unlike mine make me think about things I might not otherwise. Reading my genre makes me understand it better. Reading other genres makes me understand mine better too. Books open me up to new ideas. Books reflect my own experiences, but also make me more empathetic toward others’.

Just remember that next time you watch Oprah.

Blaze of Non-Glory

I’m cheating today; my post is just an elaborated version of a comment I left on someone else’s blog. That said, do you know what? When I did BEDA last year, I did not have a dayjob. Guess what? Working forty hours a week tends to take away from your free time.

Go figure!

The topic of bad teen writing first came up over a Twitter post (you guys, I hate saying “a tweet” so I don’t) by my agent. I responded that I couldn’t share mine because I’d burned it. I was not kidding.

I would like to fully state my case for the record. My parents live on three acres in the middle of nowhere, Missouri. About once a year we’d do a huge cleaning, and – because we could, I guess? – light the trash on fire. I have no idea. It’s so dramatic! Also: terrifying! My room was right next to the fire area!

Anyway, back then my biggest fear was for anyone – and by “anyone” I mean “any adult” – seeing my writing. (Not sure how this translated into my dreams of being published, but if I had to make a list of my illogical behaviour that wouldn’t even crack the top ten.) So one year I threw my old writing into the bonfire. I think I was mature enough to realize my child/teen writing sucked, but not mature enough to realize one day I’d absolutely adore it for said suckage.

A lesson for any teen reading this: resist the temptation of the bonfire. When you are old, you shall regret its fiery flames!

I’m a Prophet

I know I generally just talk about books and kittens and Zac Efron here, but I would like to talk to you guys about something else. MY BUYING HABITS.

OK, I know that you’re thinking this totally isn’t Mindy Kaling’s blog, but this is totally important.

You guys, I have had crappo skin since I can remember. I got a zit in third grade! That’s not right. As an adult I’m less zitty but I’m shiny like the sun, and I’ve been trying for as long as I can remember to combat this with the right product.

The other week I ventured into Lush to get some hand lotion, and a lovely salesman asked if I wanted anything for my face. He probably asked this because I was shiny and red. I am like a Christmas ornament, not a lady. So I purchased a few items, and turned down the most expensive suggestion. Amazingly, he gave me a giant sample of it so I could try it anyway.

People, I am not kidding when I say that within a couple of days, my skin looked better. Less shiny. Less red. More normal! My sample of moisturizer lasted me nearly two weeks, and of course by then I was happy spending the cash to get the full tub.

So now I’m one of these people who has a skin care regime, and old enough to worry about putting on moisturizer before I go to bed, but next time you see me, I probably won’t resemble a Christmas ornament at all.

If you yourself veer into red shiny territory, here are my new essentials:

Tips for Life

In case you were thinking you couldn’t get through a day more without some life advice from me, this is your lucky Monday!

Firstly, if you live in the Los Angeles area, please do not dine in at Electric Lotus. If you call for delivery or take out, you will miraculously receive an entree double the size of the tureen brought to your table. Also the side of rice is a gigantic container. Also, you will pay the same amount. YOU WILL THANK ME FOR THIS. I got three LARGE AND IN CHARGE meals out of one order of palek paneer and HALF of the rice, which I split with my friend.

Secondly, advice I received yesterday at book club from Lisa Yee and am now passing on to you, as if I have any authority on the matter. If you are going blind staring at your writing for revisions because you’ve already been through it at least ten times, switch up your font face, size, paragraph spacing, and margins. It’ll look so weird and different you’ll see it with new eyes. (I can attest to that as I am doing so right now!)

Yes, Yes, a Thousand Times Yes

Justine Larbalestier often says really smart things, and this response to #agentfail is no exception.